BTCC: Win on Sunday, drive on Monday...
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As a child, just watching a BTCC car was enough to give me a passion for motorsport... As an adult, now I - and you - can drive one!
'Don't be kind, I want to feel every kerb rattling through my spine...'
I'm not sure why I am attempting to strike up a conversation with Matt Neal over the low pitch gurgle over his Honda Civic turbocharged engine, my neck straining to turn to the man sat closer to a back seat than he is to the windscreen.
To be honest, my comment is a moot one anyway. Of course he is going to be full pelt across the surprisingly unforgiving Donington Park kerbs, plunge into the iconic Craner Curves and force the anchors on as he would if Jason Plato was harassing him.
He wouldn't know how else to drive it, even if I somehow doubt he appreciates my inconvenient ballast, nor my face gurning back at him from the passenger seat.
Whilst my grin and gurn is the natural product of a rollercoaster ride without the bugs, a few laps of Donington Park is actually more of a poignant moment for me than many would know. Don't get me wrong, I love the opportunity to experience international series' as F1, MotoGP and World Superbikes, but the BTCC is where my 'grassroots' passion for motorsport was born, when my Dad - not one for trawling shops - bought me a 1995 BTCC season review on VHS. I watched it over-and-over again, before extending my collection retrospectively well into the 1980s, branching out into DTM and even WTCC during its formative years.
F1 and the rest came very much later for me because in the 90's it was all about touring cars, the chance to see these distinctively liveried, ostentatious variants of the cars my Dad was driving as I was growing up go door-to-door in some heart-stopping action. The only time a Vauxhall Vectra or Nissan Primera looked sexy was when it was gussied up in big wings and over-emphasised wheels.
In short, BTCC was - and remains - relatable, striking a chord with me back then more than F1 possibly could, though my parents probably begged to differ when I was dragging them to Snetterton to watch races in the cold and dark...
There can't be many that haven't heard the term 'Win on Sunday, Sell on Monday', but whilst I was happy then to go home in the back seat of Mondeo which, to me, was basically the same as the one I just battled its way to victory, today's advances mean we can go one (maybe two or three) steps better for the ardent fan... how about driving a fully-fledged touring car?
Today's ride in Matt's tricked out Honda Civic Tourer isn't merely for fun (though it certainly is!), it heralds the launch of a new initiative that will see this exact car become available to drive for all-and-sundry from next year as part of an all-new Touring Car Driving Experience.
Though the privilege of taking the latest Ferrari, Lamborghini and Porsche for a spin at any variety of locations across the UK is certainly not a new one, the Touring Car Experience is a new and, quite frankly, extraordinary opportunity to sit behind the wheel of a Honda Civic that has not only been raced in anger in one of motorsport's most competitive series', but has done so only a few months earlier.
Whilst the final modified version of these cars - a Tourer from Team Dynamics and a hatchback from Eurotech - will naturally be pared down to be slightly more forgiving to your average amateur, as Andrew Jordan explains, these remain some impressive machines to tackle.
"This is probably around 70% of the full touring car, so it will be a proper piece of kit! You could have someone having a straight go in that and they wouldn't get anywhere near the most from it, so it is better to learn the technique in something a bit easier to drive and get more from it. It is better having something slightly lower specification, so they can crack on in it.
"It offers a unique opportunity for fans to experience the brute power of the beasts they see raced on the TV screens - both by driving them and sitting alongside the men who have raced them quicker than anyone else. They will be driving something close to a Group N-specification touring car, which has been specifically built for this.
"It will have all the right kit on in terms of dampers and diff. People can treat it as an experience or come and get tuition in a proper front-wheel drive car, then have a ride and see how we do it. It can be an experience or a serious tuition."
Rest assured, these remain seriously honed machines. A Porsche 911 and a Lamborghini Gallardo may have their heritage, but they remain relatively refined, for-the-road machines... these touring cars will be race ready, hard on the muscles and deliriously fun to drive. After all, take these on the road and you'll be defeated by the first speed hump you arrive at - these cars belong on a race track for a reason.
Perhaps wisely, you won't quite be let loose with a full 300bhp of flame-spitting performance straight away as you'll also get the chance to sample an impressive supporting cast of machinery that will - literally - bring you up to speed, including a single-seater, Porsche 911, Ginetta GT4 and Renault Clio. You'll also receive expert tuition at every turn of the wheel and then get to see how it is done by a trained racing driver with a series of 'hot laps' at the end.
"Many of us dream of these cars as we're growing up, never believing that we will ever get the chance to drive them ourselves, says Andrew. "Now people don't have to be content with watching them from their armchair, or merely racing them on a computer screen: they can actually experience the drama for themselves. Better still, they can drive these amazing machines around the challenging sweeps and dips of Donington Park's National circuit."
Indeed, Matt extolls the uniqueness of the opportunity to drive something that has been designed to challenge and win races at a very high level, a chance that cannot be replicated anywhere else.
"You can actually come here having seen these cars racing week in, week out on live TV and experience part of it. I wish it was around when I was growing up because it would certainly be on my bucket list!"
Though I suspect he has crossed a few more things of his bucket list then I have off mine, it is probably fitting that Matt is the one to be rattling my spine in his 2014 Honda since he has been very much a constant presence during my 90's BTCC obsession, from barrel-rolling his Mazda Xedos6 at Silverstone in 1994 to becoming the first privateer to win an overall race right here at Donington Park in 1999.
For me, this is an experience that has seen me come 'full circle'. Nine-years-old, watching John Cleland for the umpteenth time win the 1995 BTCC title, as a kid I couldn't possibly envisage I would be sat alongside a driver I witnessed competing all those years.
Indeed, though I wasn't quite allowed to crawl into the drivers' seat for the entirely reasonable explanation that they didn't want to be fishing gravel out of a car that was still due to race that very weekend, the prospect of simply driving one remains staggering in its definition.
Perhaps we need a new marketing motto: Win on Sunday, drive on Monday...
THE RACING SCHOOL is Europe's longest-established performance driving school. It offers the most diverse range of experiences of any provider. It maintains a racing fleet of more than 80 vehicles. Circuit passenger rides start from as little as ?40, and driving experiences from ?125.
THE RACING SCHOOL's other driving experiences include: Formula 1; Off-road; Single-seater; Supercar; Multiple Supercar; Race training; and Junior. In addition to Donington Park, it operates at the Brands Hatch, Oulton Park and Three Sisters race circuits.